Shake it Off

It's been a while since I posted anything. A very very long while, but life has been crazy to say the least. From boy drama to losing friends to backstabbing to family matters to school stress and even to dramatic international relationship struggles it has been a really rough couple of months.

All I can say is thank you Jesus, music, Diet Coke, and Taylor Swift for keeping me semi-sane this semester especially at the end. Never at any point in my life would I have been able to handle the insanity that has been thrown my way as well as I'm handling it now. This is not an exaggeration... not even a little bit. When friends have heard the full story of everything going on in my life, they just look at me like I've grown a third head. I've reached the point where I have no clue how I am still standing and how on Earth I am still smiling, but dang it I'm going to smile. I am so proud of the point in my life I have reached and the realizations that have hit me in the past several months.

Everything going on in my life has really solidified something that I have been learning and working on for years... God's plan is greater than mine. I thought that I had really learned that with my whole college decision fiasco, but boy was I wrong... this semester has truly taught me what it means to just trust in the Lord. On bad days I just remind myself that I will make it through if I just know that God will carry me when I can go on no more. Honestly I LOVE that. I love that at this point in my life I'm able to just sit down and look at the situation differently if I'm getting too worked up. It is so many different levels of wonderful. I've learned that I don't have to be anxious about anything. I can bring anything and everything to the Lord. I may not get the answer I want, but I know that this path he has my on will be a great one.

In addition the friends I do have are phenomenal. Everyone who has been there through everything, everyone who has supported me, and everyone who has said that I am completely justified in my actions has truly made this easier. I have learned who my true friends are, as well as the signs that someone is truly my friend. I've learned that I don't have to fight to keep people in my life. If someone does not want to be in my life, I no longer want to try and convince them to stay. Instead of spending all of this time and energy trying to win people back and keep people, I have decided to shake it off. I want to continue to consistently move forward.

This semester I have truly learned to ignore the people who hate me. I've learned to ignore the people who doubt me or don't care about me. I've learned that the best I can do is the best I can do. If what I can do is not good enough for someone, than that is just too bad. I'm not perfect and as hard as I try and pretend I am, I cannot and will not ever be perfect. I don't need people in my life who only want to criticize me. I don't need people who are going to lie to me. I don't need people who are going to hurt me. I deserve friends who care about me and want me to be happy. I deserve friends who treat me well and don't use me. I deserve friends who are willing to be there when I need them.

And as far as the romance department... I don't NEED anyone. All the people asking me why I'm single... I'm single because I want to be. I'm single because I don't want to settle just to be in a relationship. I want someone who wants to be with me and only me. I deserve someone who isn't going to lie to me or make outrageous promises they don't intend to keep. I deserve someone who doesn't settle for me because I'm available, but chooses me because they want me. I deserve someone who likes me for who I am. I deserve someone who isn't going to try to change me every single step of the way. I deserve someone who wants to grow together. Until I find that person, the person who respects me and treats me well.. the person who is willing to be my partner and equal, I don't need to be in a relationship.

 I am fine being single.

I am fine working on my friendships.

I am fine working on my walk with God.

and I am really really happy to work on growing to be the woman that I know I can be.

I want to continue moving forward. I want to continue shaking all the bad stuff off and reminding myself of the great things I have going for me.



Resonating Lyrics:

Cause the players gonna play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate
Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off. Shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake
Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off, Shake it off